so sweet my mouth was seared / but the words you mouthed were sweeter

'it's like lonely planet...'

we have arrived. and i think we both have longer, deeper observations ferreted away into the directory tree of our respective laptops, but until we're able to post then, banality is the order of the day.

auckland is a beautiful city, just beginning to really be a city. the arts are vibrant here, and most everyone we've met is happy with their life. but backpackers are the worst breed of people on earth, and, after this job, i never want to see another one as long as i live.

it always takes week or so to get over the same age-old observations each time you hit the road, and for me, this is the king. no, i don't want to buy some drugs; no, i don't want to do some drugs with you; no, i don't find your (barely) philosophical observation about the nature of the universe interesting; and no, i don't want to talk about where i'm from or what i do. no, i'm not going to steal your pack; yes, i'd really appreciate it if you didn't steal mine; and no, thank you, i'm not very interested in sleeping with you.

central auckland is completely overrun with people who speak northern european tongues, and it's a wonder that the local business haven't gotten fed up and moved out long ago. not much of a wonder, though; as in most heavily-touristed areas (cusco), they've gotten cagey and aggressive in reaction, and are constantly trying to scam people, even if just a little.

thankfully, we have a car, and so we've been visiting the beautiful suburbs of this beautiful city. those sun-addled monkeys around the hostel say oz is the place to go, but really, everyone ought to visit nz, at least for a bit. hopefully i'll grow more eloquent in my explanation of why.

no worries?

Nick leaned back and exhaled a deep chest of smoke, not blowing it out of some lungs but like he had come up with it just then, he was just telling you this thing that happened to be the truth and so he didn't have to be shy about it. The amber light from the parking lot cut through as the smoke dissipated, reflecting dully off his blood-rimmed eyes, and his dreadlocked hair shook as he let out a deep laugh, same place as the smoke, like smoke was truth and laugh was beauty. The rattle of beads from his hair and he spread out, dark brown arms over the metal park bench, and spoke what looks, here, like a caricature but sounded, then, like rough music over the roar of the ocean waves - mon from here on out mon we got na worries, got NO worries ma brader.

Clever little rasta though my travel partner may be, it isn't all that simple. Today found me twelve hours over the Pacific, and every time I think about how very *purposeful* everything about this trip is, I realise exactly how much there is to worry about. The past several months have been a process of panning the nuggets of true worry from the big blocks of waste. It's not finding a job I should worry about, it's carving a life narrow enough in scope to keep me secure given how far-reaching my sight is. It's wondering how I can possibly set up guidelines that allow for success and failure, happiness and sadness, when I know just how artificial these guidelines inevitably are. Is the only way to be content tilling my garden to imagine there's no world outside it? And if so, have I just chucked moral responsibility out the window?

Though I'm writing from the plane, by the time you'll have read this I will have set up shop in Auckland, New Zealand. I have been sent to New Zealand for two months by Let's Go. I have been disconnected from my known universe, I have had my fiber-optic umbilicus snapped, and I have been scuttled to the happiest place on earth. If I have ever had a chance to answer these questions, this is absolutely it.

By the way: for those sticklers for the truth, Nick is not dark-skinned nor rasta, nor blowing anything but smoggy Los Angeles air from his lungs. Which leaves me at a complete loss to explain his amazing lack of panic. Good on you, mate.

serene auckland from the top of mt. eden, an extinct volcano

the very volcano in question.

what can i say? it must be a nick thing.

trust me, it was obvious.

ladies and gentlemen, everyone's favorite english soccer hooligan, nicholas zachary topjian.

it was all yellow(?)

apologies, my friends, for leaving you bereft of our dear selves for so long. we have been busy little bees, believe you me, and are currently aggressively pursuing postal options for a few copybatches. i promise an impending deluge of information for you, my hungry souls, my lip-smacking sufferers of gastritis - my encephalitic monkey-mates - but hope, until then, that this barrage of images will tide you for some time. i also offer up to you, ye gods of the germane and unimportant, the following anecdote:


ahem.


for those of you who've never worked for the great green go: while we do arguably produce a travel guide, the real writing happens behind the scenes. as we review each insignificfant yet stress-inducing department of conservation office and gay-bi-les hotline, we keep marginalia, indulging our urge to tell someone, anyone, our story.


a recent example:


the story of whangarei, as told by anthony gabriele: there once was a town called whangarei, in which two tired, incredibly busy researchers had booked a free night at a highly-recommended hostel. they arrived, to find a cagey hostel owner who knew they had a stipend and decided to charge them despite his promise. he told them of the wonders of the town. they drove into town. it was roughly three car dealerships and a (dead) dog. wind roared through the streets, and the other backpackers they met were hollow-eyed and staggered through the world. they decided it was the end of all things, this place, and have remained ever since, growing hollow-eyed and practicing their staggering.

the north

family. friends. greetings! im sorry i have been a complete and utter joke about writing on this site until now. the truth is, anthony and i have been having a blast in northern new zealand and internet access is scarce, if not $10/hr. it got to the point where we had to decide between lunch and internet, and most of the time, lunch won the contest since we can't really do our job unless we have food to survive.

but now we're back in auckland where competitive forces have allowed us both to eat lunch and to post on the blog. our trip up north was fabulous. we only had one day of drizzle amongst many days in the 80s and the air was just right. not too humid, not to dry. of the activities we did, parasailing was probably the most uplifting.

for those of you who don't know what parasailng is, basically you hop on a speedboat and attach yourself to a (very very safe) parachute. (dad, don't worry). then, after a few minutes of contemplating the fact that you just signed your life away, you lift off 1200ft. into the air. providing moment of clarity perhaps, parasailing gives a brilliant panorama as well as plenty of time to try and remember how some aspect of 9th grade physics is keeping you
afloat.

the north of new zealand is essentially a sub-tropical paradise of green hills and nice sandy beaches. the views were so nice that we didn't even mind our time in the car looking out the windows. everywhere we looked was a photo opp. because the view there was slightly better than the last. the scenery also reminded me of the various types of green that used to come in a crayola set. hunter green, fluorescent green, moss green, blue-green, turquoise green, blue (?). perhaps the maori (the indigenous people of new zealand) had more words for green than we do in english?

anyway, thats it for now. i have to go do some work for "the man," or as tony would say, "the woman". no complaints, the job has been great (that's for you joel) so far and we're loving the freebies it gets us. speak to you all soon. hope all is well. hugs + kisses,

nick

of sheep and guitars

Well, just when you thought we'd disappeared. we're back. and ready to give you another update.

things on the road this last week have been exciting. lots of changes. lets start with the scenery.

after returning to auckland to after exploring tropical Northland, the two of us embarked on a trip southeast to the Coromandel Peninsula. we moved quickly, but savored the views at all times, even if it meant pulling over off the highway 4 times in 5 minutes. there hasn't been much time to do activities lately, but we're busy planning some cool stuff for the next couple of weeks. among them are zorbing (definition to come in future entries) and white-water rafting (i think we all know what this is). don't worry about skydiving mom and dad. im waiting for you guys on that one so we can all do it together!

moving on, although the trip started out as a duo (= tony and i), we've picked up a few friends along the way. say hello to our new road buddies.

1) "eleanor" the guitar. story: after some intense bargaining with a japanese surfer in whangamata, we managed to walk with his semi-new 6-string beauty. he's still trying to figure out what happened, but we gave him the blogsite in case he's curious.

2) "kelly" the sheep. story: after almost hitting her as she crossed the road in front of us, we decided to save her from the dangers of the wilderness. we threw some blankets in our trunk and fed her cookie scraps for dinner. she seems pretty comfortable back there with the packs...no worries.

as tony and i have been spending much time together, we've had the opportunity to take our conversations to a whole new level intellectually. here are some of going debates we've been having...

1) is tony a ruthless sock-stealer? (i think so, he doesn't)

2) is madonna 50 yet or is she still in her 40s ? (i think no, he thinks yes)

3) where are we? (i think [wherever we are], he thinks [wherever we were yesterday].

4) who paid for gas last time? (this is a trick question: i always pay for gas. we just take turns with our credit cards.)

5) should we share our conversation topics with those who read the blog? (i think yes, he thinks no)

if you have any evidence as to whether one of us is more right than the other concerning these issues, then please email us and let us know. unless he's right of course -- in that case, just sing the answer to yourself in the shower.

and now for some pictures!!

i hear an echo

hi folks. who am i kidding. no one is here. im talking to myself.

i begin today's log by solving one of our ongoing debates. here goes...

MADONNA WAS BORN IN 1958. therefore, SHE IS 2004-1958 = 46.

because 46 < 50, i win! i hate to rub it in...

the other day we took an unbelievable trip around the east coast of the north island. it was definitely my favorite drive of the trip so far, and believe me, that says a lot considering how much time we spend in the car. the sea here comes in various shades of blue. although i used to think the turquoise shades were best, im learning to love the navy ones. both are good for swimming. unless there are jelly fish that is.

from Gisborne (where we are now), we are heading to Napier through the Te Urewara National Park. it should be a long drive, but at least we have nice weather.

by the way, for those who are still trying to make sense of the Maori word "Te Urewara," consider the names of the following towns, all of which we have been to:

Kerikeri.

KohuKohu

KatiKati

KawaKawa

curious? well, here is your first Maori (the language of the indigenous Maori population here) lesson. you take a two syllable word made up of two vowels and two consonants, and then you say it twice. that's it! simple i know, but it's good if you are hard of hearing. you get two chances to hear the same word. let's just leave sentences until next time.

now by popular response -- and by "popular response" i mean absolutely no respone, not one single post or comment on our site -- we have decided to include more pictures and less text. so, here we go. the beginning of a fully visually world. how sweet it is...

NEW ZEALAND...

land of idyllic little hamlets,



big sky,



and panoramas galore.

what we do.

today, something occurred to me. although a lot of our friends know we are working for Let's Go Travel Guides, they still aren't exactly sure what we do out here. do we pet sheep? collect brochures? pretend to be on complete vacation? in truth, we do all of the above, plus a bit of writing here and there. but there is nothing we do more than introduce ourselves and ask imposing questions to complete strangers. a bit unclear? let me explain.

the best way we can illustrate what we do here on a daily basis is to provide a sample of our "ground hog" conversation -- the one we have about 20 times per day. here goes...

Unamed Kiwi: "Hi there. How can I help ya?

Us: "Good day sir. We're working for Let's Go Travel Guides...an american backpacker guide somewhat like lonely planet or rough guides. we're not sure if you know us, but we're one of the major international guidebooks based in the U.S...."

Unnamed Kiwi: "Oh I'm sorry, we don't sell Lonely Planet guides. we're the waterfront hostel, a backpackers lodge. i think theres a book store right up--"

Us: (interrupting) "Oh, thanks...but actually, we're working for the guide. you know, we're updating it and rewriting the text for next year's series. oh, and by the way, it's called Let's Go, not lonely..."

Unnamed Kiwi: "oh all right mate. we love your guides. we always wondered who wrote those Lonely Planet guides...my son once used one when he went to...america. let me see if he's here-"

Us: "no...well, um. yeah, lonely planet guides are really great. i think they update like once every 5 years. but we don't work for them. we work for let's go."

Unnamed Kiwi: "oh...[confused look on face] is that a pamphlet of some sort?"

Us: "sure, you could say that. it's about 508 pages long and it sells for around $20 though."

Unnamed Kiwi: "oh, i see. we got a sticker from you guys last year. Rough Guide, right?

little voice inside my head: "mission failing! must resort to visual clues!"

[i reach for the let's go guidebook]

Us: "well, here it is! 'the Let's Go NZ guide. updated every year and entirely different from any of our competitors' guides. see? LETS GO."

Unnamed Kiwi: "Oh, this isn't rough guide. actually, it's one ive never seen before. did you say you were american?"

[we give up]

Us: yes. we are. do you mind if we ask a few questions about your establishment?

Unnamed Kiwi: sure. no worries mate...

Us: "Can we see you toilets?"

END

so...what do we learn from an example conversation like this? first, we learn that let's go has lost A LOT of market share over the years. second, we learn that american english is an inefficient means of communication here in Kiwiland. you might not believe me, but at one point, we even had to bring in an Englishman to interpret for us. he was the perfect bridge between the accents.

moving on, while driving in NZ, we've had to adapt quite a bit. there are some basic differences when it comes to the law, and i thought you might be interested in road life here. what follows are some of the local driving guidelines we have adopted:

1) always stay on the left side of the road at all times. never venture on to the right side (no matter how tempting it might be!) unless the highway has a straight-away and there are no other cars in sight.

2) hit every possom, deer, and pig that crosses the road, even if it involves some off-roading (which, incidentally, we are trained for having driven ATV bikes in Auckland). the animals are non-native and they hurt plant and animal life throughout the country.

3) pick up attractive female hitch-hikers and take them wherever they want to go, even if it means traveling in the opposite direction.

4) stay off sacred Maori land, which is restricted to Pakeha ("gringos," "gaijin," "foreigners") like us.

NOTE: to those who are curious, we have broken all of these rules.

indeed, driving here has been fun. did i mention that both of us have a tendency to turn on the windshield wipers every time we need to signal?
it's quite annoying. unless it's raining, that is. in that case it's more important
than signaling.

the soundtrack to our trip so far has consisted of a lot of Radiohead, Beatles, Avril, the Strokes, Outkast and Coldplay. if we had to pick one song to sum everything up though, it would have to be "Hey Ya!" by outkast. from playing it in the car over and over, one of us is always either singing it or playing it on the geetar. watch out for the upcoming video of our street performance of the song.

in other news, it's really starting to register how many sheep llive in this country. literally, everywhere we go is a farm where sheep and cows wander about on hills as steep as 75 degrees. its crazy. i dont even think it's that far-fetched to say that NZ is virtually one big farm. recently, we dropped eleanor (the sheep we kidnapped earlier in the trip) off where she grew up. she enjoyed traveling with us, but could no longer stand to share the trunk with two guitars and a Kiwi bird. there simply wasn't enough room, and she was getting sick of hearing "Hey Ya" over and over.

now. this is usually the point where i post some pictures. however, the server i am using has decided to be difficult rendering it impossible. i have heard that there is another -- more complicated -- way of uploading pics, but until i get anythony to explain that to me, you will have to use your imagination. for those of you who cannot wait (which is likely to be equal to the number of people who have posted commments minus one = 0), please send numerous emails to anothny gabriele. as the subject heading, please write "i want pictures!"

that should do the trick. cheers,

nick

ps. trick has been done....here are the photos-

value-packed

a serious text update coming soon, featuring reader mail (and we've got plenty of it, don't you worry) and, hopefully, a few short video clips - held off only because of the hard hard (hard) hard work we're doing here in the rain capital of the world (point of fact - i'm not typing right now - the rain is). until then, due to my father's boisterous demands, more photos:

first, the flying nun. in gisborne, we slept in a former convent-turned-hotbed of sin. the good catholic boy hiding deep down inside has been saying hail marys ever since.

the small version is not a very good representation here, so click on the photo for a larger, expanded view of the craters of the moon; created by volcanic explosions due to mining about fifty years ago, this is basically mt. doom.

finally, the horizon. i wasn't kidding when i said that this was the land of the panorama - i can't stop taking wide shots to try to get it all in. take a deep breath and enjoy the horizon with me, will you?

(those of you in new york: a horizon is what happens when you can see where the land - that's the stuff buildings are set on top of - meets the sky - that's the ashy stuff you breath in. it's very common in most of the rest of the world - you should look into it.)

as an added bonus for faithful readers,

a tree.

mail grab

We get a surfeit of mail here at So Sweet. Really, our e-mail boxes are just bursting. No, really, I know you probably don't believe us being that you, individually, have never ever e-mailed us ever, but it seems that you just generally take it for granted that our love needs are getting fulfilled somewhere, so, might as well go on taking that for granted. Anyway: boundless mailbox. Given that we spend most of our time on long white patio chairs poolside, sipping colorful cocktails delivered by a wide lass named Susan (Sue, she asked that we call her Sue, and hey, for Sue, anything) - well, let's just say that answering your (plentiful) e-mails is a welcome reprieve from boring old paradise. Nicky and I have selected a few from the muddy paste left at the bottom of that there barrel, aired them out from three or so days, and prepared them here, for your distinct dining pleasure.

Isn't this technique getting a bit tiresome? Everyone from Dave Barry to Dave Eggers writes fictitious letters to themselves.

Daves Barry and Eggers are read by a combined fourteen septrillian people. Six people read this blog, and four of them are Nick's family. I'll take what I can get.

Also - no, I'm not done - you're pretty pushy for the writer of a 'fictitious letter'. Maybe you should just keep your thoughts to yourself in the future rather than hurting others. Others who are sensitive.

Where are you?

I have no idea. You'd have to ask Nick, really - he tends to keep better track of I do. We're on the North Island, I think, and probably somewhere on the east side or near the center, or something.

Okay, come on. Where are you really?

Hobbiton. It's near Cape Kidnappers.

Where did Cape Kidnappers get its name?

When Captain Cook and the Endeavour landed on the East Coast, a group of Maori came aboard the ship to trade. They ran off with a servant boy Cook's crew had 'obtained' in Tahiti, and Cook all but declared war on the local village.

What does the official Department of Conservation brochure say about this important moment in race relations?

It says, 'Cape Kidnappers is so named because when the Endeavour stopped in the Bay of Plenty, a group of Maori came aboard the ship to trade. They left, and the crew fired at them as they rowed away.'

It seems like something is missing from this account.

Hmm. I'll look into that.

Have you seen any giant kiwi fruit? Anything around, say, sixty feet in diameter?

Indeed, we have. New Zealand has been kind enough to build a rest stop specifically for Asian travelers, called Kiwifruit Country. A mammoth kiwi theme park, it includes a kiwi orchard, a cafeteria where they sell Dr. Moreau-esque kiwi creations, and an immense kiwi out front measuring, oddly enough, almost sixty feet across. Its kiwi-flavored ice cream topping is the explanation for why kiwi fruit flavoring has not caught on in the US.

Are there any other amenities in New Zealand designated Asian-only?

Yes. Starbucks.

Speaking of coffee: what on earth is a 'flat white'?

A flat white is a shot of espresso in warm milk. A short black is a shot of espresso alone, and a long black is a shot of espresso in water. An all black is a rugby player. We've stopped asking about these things.

Do unusual animals ever unabashedly enter buildings by the drove, then hop about looking confused?

Yes. Birds are frequent guests at our breakfast table, and they tend to look a bit, er, unsteady.

Is this because New Zealand birds are stupider than other birds?

No. This is because New Zealand residents are stupider than other residents.

What about car-based hilarity? How many times has Nick left the key to the car in the ignition despite exiting the car and locking his door? Is it as many as the number of times he has tried to shift gears without the car actually being on at all? Or the number of times he has made 'race car sounds' with his mouth while he is driving through heavy traffic?

No, it is not as many as either of those.

Please, tell us more about Eleanor, the sheep.

Ah, Eleanor, sweet Eleanor. An ode, if you will:

Fleece me. Eleanor, you
Are the sheep to my mountain -
Make me into the lamb you once were.
(R. Burns)

It's difficult to write about someone you hold so dear. We discovered her roadside, we shared wonderful memories together, and, like any true love, we had to let her go. Words alone are inadequate; I'm sorry.

What are the only two songs played in clubs in New Zealand?

Much to our delight, Outkast's Hey Ya! and the Black Eyed Peas's Shut Up! We love rock that pretends to be hip-hop, and we love exclamation points, so we're in heaven over here.

What is cooler than being cool?

You wouldn't think that this would be a point of contention, but it is. Nick says, 'Ice cool'; I say, 'Ice cold.' Frankly, I think that, of the two of us, I would know.

Isn't that new Britney Spears video hot? I mean, wow.

I know, right?

*yawn*

What a boring trip this is. interviewing famous rock bands, hiking mt. doom, and flying with the aid of a giant turbine. i'll let nick elaborate - SOME of us spend all our time writing blog entries, while SOME of us do actual work - but i will post (shh - somewhat illegally) my current favorite elemeno p tune. drop an e-mail for the hilarious hip hop remix by deceptikonz (featuring the phrase, 'she worked at subway, she gave me a foot-long').

now, some pictures:

Kia Ora

Kia Ora ("good day" in Maori) my friends! i write to you from new plymouth where and things are feeling good, feeling...summer. (even though the weather's been a bit rough lately). im happy to report that tony and i have survived the wilderness thus far, and perhaps more importantly, we have survived each other's company.

something occurred to me today. i've been gradually accumulating stuff in my pack, and it's pretty much gotten to the point where i have two packs -- one big and one little. so before i begin, let me say this. if you work for the Kiwi salvation army, and you have stumbled upon this site after a mis-google, then please don't run away. send an email asap...i have clothes and other things for you!

for the rest of you, i have an update, or something of the sort. it's been a long time since i have last written of my travels, and i hate to keep keep you waiting any longer. especially considering most of you check this site several times a day and perhaps once after dinner.

i begin with the activities. recently, tony and i visited the city of rotorua, which is known for its whitewater rafting, kayaking, and clmbing. as tony will tell you, however, the activity that really gets everbody rolling in rotorua is called "Zorbing." A bizarre mixture of dizziness, solitude and insanity, Zorbing is a sport by which you roll down a hill in a big clear ball. "Z" stands for "Zealand" and "orb" stands for wel..."orb." peep it-

if you're confused as to where i am in this picture -- please look a bit closer at the actual ball. see that little spot of life in the middle? that's me. im rolling around in a pool of soap water, as i tumble recklessly down the hill. why? well, as the wise man (rudy) once said "sometimes...you gotta do it for the story. and this is the story, i guess.

another cool activity i did in rotorua was X-treme gravity. im pretty sure this one requires a picture off the bat...so here goes

and you didn't think humans could fly...well, as i found out, we can! but only with the help of 200km/hr winds blowing from underneath us.

from rotorua, we then headed northwest to hamilton, cambridge, and raglan. (don't worry if you can't keep track of these town names, even i had to look them up in order to write this blog entry). during this time (but maybe another time...it all blurs together now that we're on the west coast) tony and i got to meet Kiwi rockstars. the story goes like this: tony and i were tired and the town seemed dead, but because of good 'ol Let's go and the job we sometimes forget about, we went out and did some nightlife research. at the first bar, we found a huge concert going on with Elemeno P, one of NZ's biggest rock bands. we chatted up their manager and arranged to interview them after the concert. i thought i'd share a clip-

Us: "So guys, where did you get the name Elemeno P from?"

Elemeno P: "well, we tried Abeseedee E and Aichijaykay L, but they just weren't as catchy. I think it's the whole vowel-consonant-vowel-consonant pattern of "Elemeno P" gives it its ring.

Us: "What makes a Kiwi rockstar"

Elemeno P: "A Kiwi a day keeps the doctor away."

Us: I think you mean an apple...?

before i continue...Justin Erlich. I know you are laughing somewhere.

ok, so that wasn't the real interview because Elemeno P were, in fact, very cool and interesting to talk to. but to get a copy of the real interview, you are going to have to buy LG new zealand 2005. i think it comes out in nov. and costs $20 or so. in the meantime, check out Elemeno P's rocking new album at www.elemenop.com.

next, i believe is cambridge. but i have nothing to say about this town other than it is has been wiped from my mind. let's talk about Raglan. in short, raglan is a surftown on the westcoast of new zealand. tony and i met a cool local here named Miles. hailed as one of NZ's top surfers, miles is also a local-surf legend who recently played host to Metallica. im hoping to return to this small town and learn from the master himself.

let's see...what else? i guess to keep you guys entertained, ill include some of the engrish signs i have found during my trip. as people who have stumbled upon www.engrish.com know, engrish is usually found in asian countries such as japan. but as we have found out here, engrish is widely available all over the world. you can see for yourself-

do you see what's wrong with these photos? maybe im going insane, but i don't think you want to be advertising your motel for its "homely" rooms.

hmm...as part of this week's Maori lesson, I thought I would include a pretty saying i have learned. It's both an uplifting way to start your day, as well as a convenient way to end this mammouth of a blog entry. here goes...

"Kotahi te koohao o te ngira,
e kuhu ai te miro maa
te miro pango
temiro whero"

[pronunciation key: there are no dipthongs in the Maori language. therefore, make sure to sound every vowel out as its own. the two "oo's" signify a long "o" vowel and "a" is always pronounced like the "a" in "father."]

oh, and before i forget...this is what the saying means...

[tony, please INSERT ENGLISH TRANSLATION]

still alive and kicking,
top

ps. here are more photos for those who have simply skimmed the text and looked at the photos until now.

elemeno P in the house.

Tongariro Circuit

Hi again! i know, i know. i just posted and you still haven't read the entry. but i just can't help it right now. it's pouring out...

for this next blog entry, I have decided to put my irrelevant, unfunny jokes on hold and instead take you on an exciting three-day journey tony and i just finished the other day. this trip took us through the volcanoes of Tongariro National Park, [in central North Island] and as you'll see, the views rocked. overall, the weather was pretty good, and even when the clouds crept in, they did so with style.

anyway, here we go. few words. lots of pics. let the journey begin...

for the soundtrack, please click the link to the elemeno P tune tony listed in his last entry. thanks.

here's the beginning of the path. we're gradually ascending up into the mountains. our packs are a bit heavy, and we're hoping they'll be space for us in one of the mountain huts.

"man vs. volcano." what i consider to be my head on shot with Ngauruhoe, one of the two monster volcanoes here. it's a bit chilly, but i'm excited enough to stay warm. tony's behind the camera, establshing himself as the unwavering camera man.

did i say it was "a bit chilly"? i think i meant freezing...at least at this point. the path continues...

i call this one "creeping cloud"

almost there! keep trekking! you're looking at the snow-sprinkled path to the summit.

so i think this is from the top? anyway, you/we made it somewhere along the way. this is probably my favorite shot. i don't know why, but i think it's because i fantasize of dangling from the top of that rock. can someone out there use photoshop to paste me in? anybody?

another view from the top somewhere.

here are two of the smaller emerald lakes we trekked to. although you can't see them bubbling, you better believe they're fuming hot.

so this pic is from one of the huts we stayed at during the journey. as you can see, im chilling with a host of people i met a whole 5 minutes before, and tony is -- as always -- taking the picture. i don't know if you can spot them here, but there's a really nice canadian couple who are somewhere in the picture. we love them because they are using Let's Go NZ. one of the few traveling pairs we have met this trip.

Red Rock! believe me, on an island of green hills, you don't see mountains like this often...the colors are a result of the rich minerals in the rock.

a shot of one of the mountain's rivers on the way down. we're dead tired and too emaciated to appear in any of the pictures. tony's muttering "water," im muttering "jacuzzi." we feel each other's pain and compromise later with cold showers.

we toast to a mission accomplished. (ok, i admit that this is the same picture i posted when we talked about auckland. the truth is we were too tired to do anything other than sleep the night after we finished. after all, it was our first sleep in a real bed in three nights!)

so, to the gabriele fans out there, im sorry that i don't have any shots of the man himself. i blame it on his keen ability to dodge the camera at all times, and delete the photos of himself from my camera before i have the chance to get them up on the web. i promise some shots later in the trip.

so much more in store, so much more stretching to do beforehand. god, my legs still hurt after days of rest. peace and love to all. miss you much-

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hold on just a minute...

It is with great sadness that I update this blog from Cambridge, MA, current host to 40-some-degree weather. I popped back over rather quickly after finishing my route due to a most excellent job interview I had this morning - stay tuned and we'll see if they call me back for another round. Lackluster homecomings, however, will not prohibit us from our appointed rounds, in a very post-office sort of way without the homicidal-maniac-killer thing. SO, we here at so sweet wanted to give you a quick version of our trip from the Taranaki area down to Wellington. Maestro, if you will?

Yeah. It was that kind of day. Floods, it turned out, had closed pretty much every major road between where we were and where we wanted to go. Now, in America, you have service roads or local roads that run parallel to these major roads and it's usually workable to get someplace. However, given New Zealand's annoying proclivity (and they have very few annoying proclivities, mind you, so we grant them this one) for having the highway also serve as main street for every small town along the road, there was no way to get where we wanted to go without going far, far out of our way. Which we did. How long did it take us? Forever. Are we exaggerating? No. Did we recover by singing and occasionally dancing along with the radio for the duration of the ride? Yes.

This brings us to Wellington. Here is a picture of the happy side of Wellington.

Just after this picture, we go on to sweep the pub quiz tournament, leaving dozens of international travelers licking their wounds for hours to come.

Just after that, I discover I have contracted scabies in a dirty bed in Waitomo.

Just typing it makes me disgusted. I'll have to finish the Wellington update later. Ugh. Gross.

*moving right along*

howdy folks! i write to you 2/3 of the way into my trip from the south island. things are still quite good out here despite the fact that tony has abandoned me and i am soon to be unemployed. but anyway, i am honing my cooking skills, doing lots of hikes and thoroughly anticipating my parents' NZ arrival. that's in about a week.

before we get going, i'd like to present the soundrack of this blog. the tune is called "lifeline" and it's by one of the hot NZs hot young artists. her name is Brooke Fraser-

click this link: Download file

this time around i really have so many stories to tell you and so may pics to show you that i don't know where to start. i guess instead of trying to organize my thoughts, ill just write them down as they come to me. on that note, id like to begin with a picture depicting the personal transformation i have experienced these last couple months-

"dundee"? perhaps. but personally, i think im a bit too ethnic looking. dundee could be armenian i guess...i mean, there are a number of armenians in australia. but anyway, lets get to the point. i should be embarassed to post such a pic on the web and for some reason i am not. clearly, i have been here way too long.

throughout my different travels, i have had some crazy chance encounters....yet im afraid none are able to top the one i had a couple weeks ago in wellington. the story follows...

it was late at night, and i was considering going to bed. but i had a lot of work to catch up on, so i decided to do a little kartography in the hostel common room. as i began to work however, i noticed a familiar looking dude cracking jokes in the corner of the room. his voice was familiar and although i could only catch his profile, my instincts told me we knew each other. my stomach began to rumble and...

i had a painful flashback-

***it was the third set of a childhood tennis tournament and i was down 5-0 to an unbelievable spinster. whether it was topsin or slice, this guy had it. my forehand was failing me and things had slipped out of my grasp. i realized that i had blown my one set lead and i was about to lose the tournament. my tennis career would surely be over forever. just then, the moment realized itself in a terrible stomach ache...one not too different from the one***

i was experiencing right now, in the common room of this wellington hostel.

was this in fact my old tennis arch-rival? the spinster himself? walking over to the corner of the room, i shelved my hesitation and called him out. he turned slowly, raising his arm, and suddenly i recognized the arm movement in my old arch-rival's ball toss. it was in fact...

derege. francecsco, derege.

a great childhood friend, francesco was a comic genius at a young age. he never seized to amaze us with perfect bob cat golthwait impersonations during hockey seasons and tennis tournaments...not to mention that spin he used to put on the tennis ball. although it had been years since we had seen each other last, cesco and i talked all night, reliving the good 'ol days...oh and as for the match that haunted me for so long...

as it turns out (from his account), i actually came back and won that. ahh...the glory days.

now, while im on "the crazy encounter subject," i should note that i also ran into this guy a while back-

who is he you ask? well, that's something i would like to know as well. this guy claims to be a LG researcher named tom miller, but im guessing he's full of it. after all, im not so sure there are supposed to be two of us out here...hey Joel (my editor), Barb (my other editor)!!, can one of you explain this to me? i've seen the movie "spies like us" and know how the whole ***researcher decoy*** strategy works. tony and i want to know if we've been used and abused.

ok. i should probably talk a bit about what i've been doing out here, so here we go. recently, i spent a good amount of time in Golden Bay, the northwest region of the south island, otherwise known as paradise. one of the highlights here was the abel tasman national park, which provided ample opportunity to get off my lazy butt and move around. peep the following pics from the park...some come from my multi-day hike of the Abel Tasman Coastal Track, some come from kayaking, and the rest a scenic flight-

also in the golden bay area was cape farewell and the scenic coast. it was a bit of a hike to get out here, but i really enjoyed exploring the beach and water caves. you'll notice some seal cameos in these pictures.

and now...for your amusement, i will return to my favorite segment of the blog. Engrish-

you're business is going under, but are you sure you wanna advertise that?

and im sorry, but WHAT is the deal with this!?!

suddenly it's become clear as to where this worldwide epidemic has gone. some bad 'ol kiwi company has decided to capitalize on the disease by packaging it and selling it down under. if that isn't sickening...

before i go, i'd like to get your guys' help with something. you see, in working for let's go these last couple months, i have seen *thousands* of bathrooms and toilets, some of which have been worth of special attention. all of these toilets have been unknowingly entered into my "best NZ toilet of 2004" contest and the contest has produced two finalists. while ive been thinking hard as to which toilet should win this contest, i really need an objective eye. thus, i present to you ladies and gentlemen, the two finalists-

"dice bigalow"

"the majestic"

now, as you will notice, each of the finalists has a name. once you have made your final decision as to which toilet is "hipper" in your mind, please post your vote so that i can take it into account before i declare a winner.

by the way, the award for "NZ's wildest hostel of 2004" has already been determined, and this is it-

i'd like to conclude this entry with an impromptu haiku:

tony! where'd you go?
monstertrak won't sign me on.
fall brings joblessness.

miss you all-
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year of the monkey(s)

so the theme of this entry is nothing other than "catch up." i have much to share and i'll have to breeze through a bit so i can get everyone up to speed with what i've been doing over here in kiwiland.

but before we start, it's the year of the MONKEY(!) and all who were born in 1980 (that includes me) should recognize good fortune when it comes upon them.

anyway, here we go-

one of the coolest things i did recently was swim with dolphins. swim with dolphins you wonder? what is that? well, basically you hop a small boat which takes you out into the open ocean. once you're several miles out from the coast, you take the plunge into freezing cold water and lose yourself as -- literally -- hundreds of dolphins swim past you, above you, under you, and even into you. it's really unreal.

me in my sexy wetsuit.

one of my new friends.

a mediocre picture of the dolphins that i shouldn't have included.

the Kaikoura coast.

a bridge in kaikoura.

from kaikoura, i headed west through the western alps on a route known as a Arthur's Pass. i was fortunate enough to have good weather for the drive and came up with some nice views...

a "kia" bird. the only alpine mountain parrot in the world. i think this one is injured.

when i finally got across to the west coast of the south island, i found two things: glaciers and bad weather. as you can see from the pics below, the glaciers fill in the mountain valleys and reach heights of several hundred meters. as you hike up the glacier, you use an ice pick thingy and special spiked boots to trek around crevices and steep inclines.

here's the basic view of franz joseph glacier, which was named after the Austrian king. (some austrian dude named it afer him upon visiting in the mid 1800s). these are all views from the region-

some glacier-produced waterfalls you can drink from.

us. making the gradual ascent.

trust me. you don't want to fall down there.

the tiny people here show just how big this block of ice is.

view from the top. we made it, and it's time to descend. my feet are so numb that i seriously entertain the idea of amputating a few toes. before i move on, here's a quick shot out to fox glacier, which i saw but didn't climb.

fox glacier.

next, i headed down the rugged west coast and toward fjordland...it was a mammouth of a drive, but once again the views made it worth it-

the western alps from the eastern side.

the lake hawea region.

the lake wanaka region.

eventually, we made it to queenstown (!), the adventure capital of the world where you can do everything from helicopter bungee jumping to hangliding. i opted to skip most of these sickly touristy adrenaline sports for some hiking in the wilderness, but don't worry, there are plenty of pics nevertheless. anyway, before i begin..i'd like to present the dude of the week-

this guy is awesome!

ok, so nz is really one of the best places for tramping in the world and that's why i recently opted for a 3.5 day hike in the mountains. the route was called the Kepler track and it was in Fjordland national park (southern part of the southern island).

this is my hiking partner for this trip. his name is Michael "iron man" Romano, and he earned his name by doing the iron man triathalon a few weeks back in Taupo. just to clafiry how *crazy* he is, the Iron Man consists of 3.5 miles of swimming, 115 miles of cycling, and 26.8 miles of running, a marathon, back-to-back. the two of us left queenstown for the track a bit later than we had hoped, and to our surprise we hit a 30min road block. peep the pics-

yes, indeed these are sheep that are in our way. they are dirty and confused. but no need to fret, we have a horn and we are not afraid to use it.

a few minutes later...the sheep dog helps us out and we're golden.

so we arrive in the small town of Te Anau and get ready to embark on our 3-day adventure. the weather forecasts look good, but one never knows in this country...

we started out with an intense climb, which really gave my out-of-shape legs a run for their $. on top of my lack of fitness i had moments where i thought to myself...

"umm...are we supposed to cross this?" anyway, day one ended soon enough, and we had a nice overview as the sun went down.

day two was certainly the highlight of the hike. after staying in this hut,

we embarked on a 6 hour trek along the alpine ridge. the weather was on our
side (for a change) and that allowed for some great views of the fjords and lakes below and the mountains around-

me in front of the breaking clouds.

the trail early on in the day.

the clouds almost full break by midday. the fjords linger below.

here i am on the summit of mt. kepler. we're about 3 hours into the hike of day two. mike calls out for "adrian!!!" and i call out for "tony!!!" -- my long lost trave l partner.

me and the iron man, mike.

here's a view from the backside of the summit.

i stuck to the peanut butter and jelly and picnic'ed above one of the fjords.

the trek continues along the alpine ridge. we're high up, but not so high that we have trouble breathing.

the end of day two. or rather, the end of my pics for day two.

this is just about all i have of day three...and it's the lake we trekked along to get back home. sadly, my camera died after day two.

here's the sun, welcoming us home with a warm yellow glow. i returned to queenstown that night with one thing in mind -- jacuzzi. i rested my incredibly sore legs and took it upon myself to shower for the first time in three days...it was after all, the courteous thing to do considering i slept in a dorm room with three other people.

and that's about it for now. im happily traveling with mama and papa topjian at this point, and on the next post ill share a bit on our travels through the south island of NZ and the east coast of australia. cheers-

nick

three's company

hey everybody. i'm back again, and this time with family. without further ado, i'd like to introduce you to mama and papa topjian...

here they are at lake wanaka, fresh and ready to explore the nz countryside.

it's really amazing to have them out here with me. when i think about it, it's kind like being home, only better cause the scenery is more beautiful and we have more time to talk about things like whether or not my dad should grow a beard. i think he should, my mom thinks he shouldn't. what a surprise...anyway, after 34 years of giving in to mom's vote, i think my dad's ready to take a stand a grow the beard he's always wanted..

otherwise, the highlights of our time here begin in queenstown, where we did lots of walking around the scenic lakes and mountains. in nearby arrowtown, we took in some good history concerning the gold rush of Otago (1860s). interstingly enough, while the rush did not turn up as much loot as the rushes of california and australia, it worked to bring people into the country...and people at that time was a valuable commodity! workers came from everywhere -- china, europe, the states. you name it-

view from the top of queenstown

go-karting

another highlight of these few days is when we spent a day on doubtful sound, cruising doubtful fjord and touring the country's largest hydroelectric plant. it's worth remarking that although doubtful sound is referred to as a "sound," it's really a fjord. what's the difference? well, in short, sounds are formed when a rising sea creates fjord-like passages and peninsula's out of land, while fjords are formed by melting glaciers. anyway, here are some pics from fjordland national park.

a "big stone" river on the way to the fjord

a foggy pic of the fjord from a distance. from here, we slowly descended down to the water so we could board a boat and cruise out to sea.

the drive back to queenstown.

let's see...next, the three of us then headed up to christchurch (the largest city on the south island) through the lakes district. along the way we spent two nights on lake wanaka and lake tekapo and made nice kiwi friends at the bed and breakfasts we stayed at. the areas were pristine and perfect for daywalks-

mom's loving it.

"the drowning tree"

a hidden wine vineyard out by lake wanaka.

lake wanaka.

on the drive to lake tekapo.

along the way, we stopped for a fabulous farm tour which taught us all about NZ sheep, cattle and the like. my favorite part of the tour was getting to watch the sheep-dogs work their magic for the farm owners. it was truly amazing. the owners told the dogs to get the sheep, and ten minutes after disappearing into the masekd hills of above, the dogs returned with a few dozen bumbling white sheep.

the sheep dog using his eyes to scare the sheep.

now Kiwis take their sheep very seriously, and that's probably why they have so many different kinds. the merino, suffolk, romney, etc. as i have learned, the merino is good both for wool and eating, and that's why it's usually very common to have in large numbers. but anyway, just take a look at these adorable sheep!

evidently, the brown sheep on the left is about one in a thousand. as a result, he gets to live. i call him "lucky sheep."

clarification of sheep terms:

sheep = generic term for all below
ewe = female sheep
ram = a male sheep
lamb = a baby sheep

the sheering facilities

the topjian farmers.

when we finally made it to christchurch, my mom and i decided it would be nice to do a hot-air balloon ride. dad wasn't exactly into the idea since it entailed floating 5500 ft. above the ground, but we could understand his more cautious point of view. after all, we did have to wake up at 4am in order to get to the balloon site by 5:30am, and we were practically hanging out of the basket as we ascended into the open sky.

testing the blowtorch and finding that it still works. that's a good thing, a very good thing.

we all help to blow up the parachute with cold air.

the balloon is almost completely infalted

and...we have lift off at twilight.

the canterbury plains at about 1500 feet.

ants or cows? you decide.

we consider the physics behind what's keeping us from plummeting to the ground.

what they call a "braided river."

happiness is...

here we are, after a successful landing in a field covered with cow shit. it becomes clear as to why they gave us rubber shoe-covers 3 hours earlier...

anyway, that's about all i can write about NZ for now...the cold weather is beginning to get to us and we can't wait to get to Australia where it's much much warmer. personally, i can't wait to stop wearing my ridiculous purple long underwear. stay tuned, and drop a line if you get the chance. we'll be back soon-

nick, mom + dad

The Final Frontier

well, well! my friends. it's good to be back writing on the eternal blog, arguably the closest thing i have to a home at this point. anyway, im here with mom and dad, who are doing well, and the three of us have been touring the east coast of Australia religiously.

before i get going, i'd like to mention a strange occurence. after waking up at our hotel this morning, i eagerly checked my email in hopes that some of you might have contacted me to say hi. fat chance. instead, i found something rather disturbing...

a piece of junkmail from nick topjian.

strange as it sounds, this piece of mail was indeed sent from ME to ME. do you understand the meaning of this? somehow, in the last 24hrs, my email decided to send out a virus (even though i don't actually have the virus) to people i knew, including myself. i can only think that such strangeness is an onimous sign of something much worse to come. perhaps the self-destruction of my computer. in any case, the implication of this is that i have to setup a rule with my mail program so that all emails from "nick topjian" will get filtered into the trash.

(make sure this doesn't happen to you) [sigh]

on behalf of my parents and myself, i'd like to welcome you to Australia - land of high temperatures, crocodile dundee, and many, many poisonous beings. Aussie land's got an interesting history. it was originally settled in 1787 by the british, after the royal empire decided to send 750 or so convicts here to taste the pain of the outback. why? well, to make a long story short, once the U.S. gained independence, britain could no longer send outcasts there, so they needed a new prison-colony. since captain cook had claimed the east coast of australia in 1770, the continent down under seemed like a good - if not miserably far - place to house prisoners.

but wait. did i say the british first settled australia in 1787? technically, that's incorrect. in the vast scope of history, the british were the second bunch of settlers and the indigenous aborogines were the first. though it's unclear exactly when the aboriginess got here (or even whether or not they evolved here), average estimates put it at 50,000-80,000 years ago...way too distant for us to perceive. without going too much into the human rights issues, the british solved the "what should we do with the aborogines??" question/problem by considering them savages not worthy of the land. some massacres and harsh government policies followed and eventually the history of australia became a predominantly white one.

anyway, let's get on to some randomness-

fun fact: "kangaroo" and "boomerang" are two common abororiginal words that we use back in the west. "didgeridoo" (the name of the long wooden aboroginal instrument) however, is not an aboroginal word. it's onomotopeia, symbolizing nothing more than the fact that some western dude first heard the wind instrument and thought it sounded like "d-i-d-g-e-r-i-d-o-o."

as for our travel, we began in Cairns (Queensland) where average tempertures were in the 80s and the people were very, very friendly. although we had a fabulous time relaxing here, i should note that i was occasionally on my toes. i had, after all, encountered this troublesome passage in bill bryson's In A Sunburned Country just as our plane was touching down at Cairns aiport:

"But all of these are nothing compared with the delicate and diaphanous box jellyfish, the most poisonous creature on earth...let me offer a small story. In 1992 a young man in Cairns, ignoring all the warning signs, went swimming in the Pacific waters at a place called Halloways Beach. He swam and dove, taunting his friends on the beach for their prudent cowardice, and then began to scream with an inhuman sound. It is said that there is no pain to compare with it. The youngman staggered from the water covered in livid whiplike stripes wherever the jellyfish's tentacles had brushed across him, and collapsed in quivering shock. Soon afterward emergency crews arrived, inflated him with morphine, and took him away for treatment. And here's the thing. Even unconscious and sedated, he was still screaming."

as bleak as it sounds, cairns was still worth the journey and we used it as a launching base to explore the oldest rainforest in the world, as well as the great barrier reef. here are some pics from the rainforest and the surrounding area.

didjeridoo shopping...this is the one i decided on.

mountaintop shot.

after Cairns, we headed to boston's sister city and the home of the 1956 summer olympic games - melbourne. i loved melbourne for its compact size, prime art offerings, and savory chinatown. as a bonus, we got to check out a couple of comdey shows at the city's international comedy festival. here's a taste of the city-

from the tower.

wait just a sec here. isn't this burger king???

during our time here, we also got to drive along the Great Ocean Road and catch the 12 apostles in action. you'll notice some of the pics are from above...those would be taken from a helicopter-

"the 12 apostles." if only i had a dollar for every time someone took this shot.

"the keyhole."

i must say that as fantastic as melbourne was, the highlight of our time here was meeting up with friends and family...after all, armenians live all over the world and since there aren't many of us left, it's not surprising that many of us are related in some way. even though my aunt marleen, who lives in melbourne, was traveling in the states at the time of our visit, we still got to meet up with her family, the Sarafians. they were fabulous hosts and treated us to a fantastic day out on the vineyards. here's a group shot from lunch-

the final leg of out trip was the amazing city of syndey, home to the highly-successful 2000 olympic summer games. (warning: contrary to popular belief, sydney is not the capital of australia. canberra is). the architecture here is just fantastic, and i'd like to at least share with you the opera house-

without going into too much detail on it, the structure's roof consists of 14 parts which can be disassembled and reassembled rather easily. it's architect is a danish guy named Utsen (sp.) and he himself has never seen the finished structure. we saw a ballet here the other night and it was just great. i would highly recommend seeing some sort of theatre production here if you ever have the chance.

other highlights of our time in sydney include our architectural tour of the city and a bridge climb. of the two, the latter is def. more noteworthy. why? because we climbed a big, big bridge, which was high enough to scare the birds. here's a pic of it-

mom, dad, and i ended our three weeks with a fantastic dinner down by the harbor. it was tough to say goodbye to sydney, especially knowing there was a 20 hours of airplane food in front of us, but we had no choice but to bid it farewell and hope we could make it back someday.

once three's company came to an end, i found myself wandering the streets on my own searching for things to do. on friday night i met up for drinks with roseanne, a nice aussie girl i had met while in norway two summers before, and on saturday night, i met up with my buddy warwick and his friends to go see RADIOHEAD at the sydney entertainment center. ill save the commentary on the concert, but let me just say that it was UNREAL. among my favorite tunes they played were: "like spinning plates," "exit music (for a film)," and "fake plastic trees."

and so here i am at the end of the trip, heading back to auckland where it all started. it's been a blast and while my pics and writing can't do the trip justice, i'll hope they have give you all an idea of how great it is Down Under. so long and farewell my friends. ill see you soon-

nick (and the gang)