the old ox

it happens to me frequently in airplane bathrooms: walk in, cinch the door, and revolve around to find yourself one-half inch from a full-body mirror.  eyes bleary, you lean in close to study the various failings of your features, and then you pull back to take yourself in.  suddenly, you see yourself seeing yourself, and are taken hold of by a vertiginous dissociation – ‘this is it, then?  this, the old ox?  how very strange.’  you study yourself intently, every movement amplified, and think, this doesn’t make sense, this mind is not this thing, i am not this thing; and sure, it’s quite an attractive thing, i wouldn’t mind being this thing, but something’s just a bit off in the relationship between me and this mirror-thing, this it.  how did i get trapped in here?

it’s the most intuitive case for the mind-body problem. i call it the unexpected mirror, as i’ve only noticed it with large mirrors that catch me unawares.  i wonder if it occurs to everyone.