calvin trillin’s article in the july 27 issue of the new yorker gave a name to something i’d felt before: suicide by cop. if you’ve played grand theft auto or similar games, you’re familiar with the phenomenon: your attempts to fly under the radar with your misdeeds have failed, and you’ve garnered more attention for your crimes than you could hope to escape from. your mental calculus tells you that you will definitely be caught and punished, so, you think you may as well unleash your id and live out your fantasies of aggression, knowing full well you will be gunned down in the process. i may be experiencing this emotion inside a video game world, but i feel it so uniquely and distinctly that i’m reasonably certain the feelings of entrapment and the ease with which you decide to cast away your life under enormous pressure are similar.